"You want to know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans."
Where to even begin? I feel like I have so much to say but can't get it out in a coherent sentence. When I read a book (and decide to review it) I usually have a process I go through. As I go through the story, I have a sort of... outline in my head of what I want to say. So my reviews are usually a reflection of what I thought and felt throughout the whole entire book, while I was 'in the moment.' With God-Shaped Hole, I finished it without having any clue of what the hell I was going to talk about. All I did while reading this book was feel. This is a story that makes you think about everything and nothing at the same time.
It was a story about people with dreams. Dreams that never come true.
Anyone that knows me and has seen my shelf knows what type of books I read. I'm not too picky but I usually go for a story with some angst and a HEA... and by HEA I mean they get married, have kids, live in a place where there is world peace and die of old age together holding hands. Sounds corny and predictable but I go to my books to escape. Not to see more of the problems I have can find the real world. However, there comes a day when I decide: You know what, Destini? You haven't suffered in a while. And that's where God-Shaped Hole comes into play. I'm just going to let everyone know right now, it's depressing. I mean, you really have to be in the right frame of mind to start this one. Don't let that discourage you, though! It's a beautiful story.
“It seemed cruelly unfair to me, even then, how fast your life can change before you have an opportunity to rethink your choices. We should get second chances on the big stuff. We should come equipped with erasers attached to the tops of our heads. Like pencils. We should be able to flip over and scribble away mistakes, at least once or twice during the duration of our existence, especially in matters of life and death.”
I didn't choose this book to escape into. I chose it because I felt I could gain some perspective on a few things. And I did. This story... it's not like others. You're reading about this couple's life, which should sound extremely boring, but it wasn't. Everything was so genuine and I was immediately pulled in. I was there. In the book, experiencing everything. I cried when they did, suffered when they suffered, laughed when they laughed, loved them as they loved each other... I felt it all. Trixie and Jacob... I don't think I could have describe a more imperfectly perfect couple. They truly were siamese soul lovers. Trixie makes the list for my top heroines but Jacob... he was the one that really stole my heart. He was such a kind, gentle soul but so full of life. I can't put it in better words than this:
[his eyes] ... they were older, wearier than his age let on. But I sensed in them a splash of irony, too; a proud acceptance of the fact that life can be a bitch sometimes, that some people feel things too deeply.
He was who he was and I loved him for it. Jacob was far from perfect and made some bad decisions but ultimately, he was good at heart.
"You try and act so tough, you think you're so damn hopeless and godless and faithless, but you don't fool me. People without hope aren't tormented by the world they way you are. People without hope don't give a shit. But I see it in you, in the way you look at things, even in the way you look at me sometimes, like I'm the coolest fucking guy in the universe, and I know it's in there. Reverence. Belief. Something. You have a lot more faith than you own up to."
This story deals with religion and faith but it doesn't make up the book. If anything, I would describe it more as discovering the meaning in life. The meaning for everything. The reason for anything being the way it is, why we are the way we are... and why some things happen to us. Even though this is a tough read, it wasn't all depressing. Trixie and Jacob had a dry humor that had me wiping tears away. And when it's all over and you look back, it's sad, nobody can deny that, but there are also good memories. Happy things that you remember. That leave you smiling.
"I know it's late but," he paused, "would it be all right if I came over?"
"Jacob," I said, "how long have you been waiting to ask me that?"
"Who knows?" he said, more to himself than to me.
"Maybe all my life."
I would definitely recommend reading this book. It's a story that'll stay with you forever, that will still have you feeling years later. I've said everything in the best way I can but honestly, this is a book that needs to be experienced. My song for God-Shaped Hole: Hallelujah